Kyme Dang is Founder of Collective Healing San Diego and understands the role that self belief has played in her business journey so far. She took some time to speak with Industry Leaders about this powerful state of mind.
Firstly, can you give us a little bit of background about your business journey?
Honestly, it was during a dark time in my life when Collective Healing San Diego was born. I embarked on the most intense healing journey of my life to date at the time. Discovering my way forward and relentlessly seeking answers to some deeply embedded self sabotaging patterns, I had to unearth very painful truths, not just about myself but my family of origin, and culture’s influence at large. It wasn’t my 1st rodeo with this, but by far the deepest. Along the way, I realized I had acquired some keys to unlock accessing my most powerful self. It catapulted me into this purpose as a Prophetic Heart Coach, which is a Christ-centered coaching approach that combines clarifying, intuitive, and transformational styles. It has, and continues to have, profound impacts for my clients.
What role has self-belief played in your journey as a business leader? How has it influenced your decision-making and overall success?
I’ve found self belief is rooted in what is greater than me.In other words, a vision greater than me exists, and I have a part to play in it. In my twenties, I took risks just because of the nature of how I grew up, but inside I was terrified because I felt the heaviness of the risks being “all on me”. If we’re not careful, some expressions of self belief are just ego driven exploits, which are not rooted in this greater vision. Now in my 40’s, within these last 10 years, I understand more about my part in this greater vision, and it inspires me to step up and take my place. How it’s affected my decision making is asking myself “how does this decision fit into the greater vision that I’m a part of?” This question keeps me focused on what’s best for the vision, and less focused on what’s best for me in it.
Can you share a specific moment or challenge in your journey where your self-belief was tested? How did you overcome it and what did you learn from that experience?
I’m actually in the middle of one now. I’ve been quietly building on a plan for my property over the last 7 years in connection to my business. On the cusp of a long awaited construction, those plans took a hard left when some major damage to the existing structure took me for a loop demanding attention. If you know anything about unexpected renovations, one thing leads to another, and I find myself investing more than I had bargained for. I’m very aware of how easy it is to get lost in the minutiae, losing the original vision. Thrown into doubt, it’s been hard to keep the original plan clear in my mind. Things become blurry in the midst of unexpected circumstances, Am I being asked to pivot from the original plan, and if so, in what way? As a business owner, dealing with the unexpected is par for the course. What I find helps me overcome is to stay flexible by changing the approach and not attaching myself to catastrophic thinking Thoughtfulness, patience, and slowing down to ask the right questions helps keep my mindset in a solution based state rather than an emotional one. What I’ve learned is big visions need wisdom and snags come to test our mettle on how fully we are actually committed versus the intention of being committed.
How do you cultivate and maintain a mindset of self-belief amidst the inevitable ups and downs of life?
When cultivating self belief I had to identify the ingredients of what authentic self belief is made of. I’ve found trust, values, character, Integrity, perseverance, and accountability are definite markers. Then it moves from identifying to application within myself first. Can I trust myself to do what I say I will do when no one is watching? For me, the practice of its maintenance started here because it helped for me to get to know and own my strengths and weaknesses. Once clearly established, I can put the different kinds of support I need in place to stay ready for the inevitable ups and downs.
Are there any specific strategies or practices you follow to boost your self-confidence when facing uncertainties or setbacks in your business?
My faith plays a pivotal role in my practices. Meditating n and applying it’s principles, journaling, working out, and eating well everyday is not a luxury. These rhythms are non-negotiable practices for my life. Knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this is the source to boosting my self confidence because time and time again, it has never failed to give answers in the middle of the uncertainties and setbacks.
How do you handle self-doubt or negative self-talk that may arise as a business leader? Do you have any specific techniques for reframing negative thoughts?
I’ve learned the voices of self doubt and negative self talk are rooted in thoughts of me. My performance, my ingenuity, my my my. This narrative screams, “It’s all on me!” If I believe this I’ll drown in it. I may be responsible for a lot but it’s not all on me. Reframing the vision I carry is part of a bigger story, helps me keep things in perspective. The technique depends on the context of the negative thought. For example, if I’ve done my best and all that I can do, and the negative thoughts involve things I can’t control, i need to be aware and identify this, and make the decision to let go. Then invite something fun or surround myself with people and activities that bring lightness to my life. If the pressure is on to execute, and negative thoughts are trying to beat me down or keep me from an action in need to take, I open myself up to examining if there are any gaps within myself that do not serve what needs to be done and integrate the changes, allowing this process to transform me into a better version that is needed for the task at hand. This in particular can be a very painful process, but in the midst of working this out, I remember past wins as proof that in order to rise, I need to discard a version that still remains hidden or is showing itself and I need to fully look at. Facing hard truths about myself and being better for it, has always levelled me up in hindsight so I might as well not fight the process, and click in.
What advice would you give to aspiring entrepreneurs who struggle with self-belief? How can they start building a stronger sense of confidence and belief in themselves?
I find most times the struggle is deeply rooted in something unhealed and drenched in shame. These narratives have a source and they need excavation. You might think “what does this have to do with business performance?” I call it our invisible resumes.They affect how we show up in everything we do. As convenient as it may sound in theory to compartmentalize ourselves, time has a way of revealing this way of being won’t last the long haul. Cracks always start to show on what our self belief is actually built on. If it’s built on ego, we will see ourselves trying to preserve appearances which is directly opposite of authentic self belief. That kind of behavior demonstrates insecurity. Most don’t want to go deep within their dark places, but doing so is what will set a person apart when the tests come. In other words, it’s not when things are going smoothly is when real self belief is demonstrated. That’s easy. It’s in the moments of threat and pressure are when genuine self belief is fully displayed. The measurement of solid, all weather sustaining self belief is quantified by the wins we are willing to dig for in our private lives and darkest places. How we face the hard truths about ourselves and our willingness to change, integrate, and embody these findings will set our self belief on a more solid foundation.
Have you ever encountered external skepticism or negativity regarding your business ideas or decisions? How do you stay grounded in your self-belief despite external influences?
Always. Anything worth doing is going to ruffle feathers especially when it’s causing others to look at themselves in some way. Like I said before, most don’t want to go deep within. They’d rather keep their presentations, and when you don’t subscribe to that, you’re automatically going to upset the apple cart. Staying grounded here can be challenging especially when that external skepticism and negativity is coming from those closest to you. We can think it shouldn’t be in our inner circle, but that is not the truth. The ability to be hurt is because someone or something we trust turned in us in some way. What has kept me grounded is accepting this truth and allowing myself to be misunderstood, even by those who love me. I believe that duality can exist and it’s not something I need to I don’t take personal. I was given a vision, and if others really wanted to know they’d ask, and we would have an open conversation about it. If not they’ll continue to make up stories about me that are comfortable for them to digest, which is out of my control. I’ll only take the time to explain if someone has a heart to ask and truly wants to know what is driving me. Other than that, having the perspective that time is precious, and instead of wasting my energy trying to control other people’s views and narratives, I would rather spend it towards building the vision knowing that my best is enough.
Are there any books, podcasts, or people you'd recommend checking out for anyone who wants to change to a more self-confident and belief-rich mindset?
There are so many but a few that come to mind are: The Bible. Soul Care, Soul Care Leader, Spiritual Authority by Dr. Rob Reimer. The School of Greatness Podcast by Lewis Howes. The Movement San Marcos Sunday Service YouTube. Lighter by Yung Pueblo
Finally, what are some practical tips or exercises you can recommend for entrepreneurs to strengthen their self-belief and mindset on a regular basis?
1. Know your limits by committing to sleeping and eating well. Living with margin and boundaries is essential to bringing your best in any given scenario, be it personal or professional. 2. Use journaling as a tool to set up the day, a pause to gain perspective in the day, or reflect at end the day. This ensures your thoughts have somewhere to go. It’s a safe place and dedicated time and space to “get it out” and save questions that may come up while waiting for answers. 3. Know your greatest strengths and live with integrity and accountability regarding them to yourself first, not for the affirmation of others. 4. Know your weaknesses, and structure the right support around you to strengthen those areas. 5. Invite and cultivate the purity and innocence of real laughter and uncomplicated joy often. Make sure they are deeply embedded into the fabric of your life. 6. Keep rich relationships that do not compete and are not afraid to bring up the need to face the hard truths about yourself. 7. Remember, you’re apart of a bigger story and it’s not all on you.
Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge with us here! Where should people follow you to find out more about your work?